After a few months of Hiatus including struggles and almost losing my whole world, I have stepped on my pride and got help…
I am now back on my blog. It is no secret by my past posts that I struggled with mental health. As I was hurting myself inside, I was also making life a living hell for the man I love, the one who tried to help me, the only one that couple make me smile. All this because I thought I could do it all by myself again.
Sadly, I had to almost lose him to say “HEY! You cannot do it by yourself anymore, you now need a professional!!!”. I did. For me, but for my loved ones also. I can’t lose the only bright part of my life! So I won’t be ashamed, and will say it: my doc diagnosed me with severe depression. The past year was too overwhelming for me, it got passed my simple anxiety and became depression. BPD will be diagnosed in the next weeks. I might have control this disorder very well until now.
If you think you have depression, anxiety crisis, or just don’t feel right in your head, please don’t do like I did and wait. It’s not because you made it so far on your own that it will be okay all your life. We are not invincible. The mind can be very strong, but it does have its own limits. I have learn the hard way, that it can be so, sooooo hard for the ones around you too, as they get helpless and don’t know what to do at the end to make it better and stop the tears and rage… a living hell. Trust me, when you feel like I did, the last thing you need is to be on the edge of losing the one you love and that kept what’s left of you together.
So as a part of my healing, and the search of a normal life (Job, relationships, financial, etc.), I will continue writing here. I am already writing thoughts in a book, thoughts I can’t share, it helps, but it’s darker…. and here, it will be my other therapy: to change my mind and chat over more positive and lighter things!
And up to a more brighter road!